Wedding Etiquette: RSVP to Avoid The Naughty Table

I’m not going to lie, my parents seldom RSVP’d until recently. In their generation, it is understood that no-answer means yes. Only those people who are not coming let you know in advance.

Times have changed though – it is rude and inconsiderate not to RSVP. Don’t worry, I’m here to help you (and your parents) understand the concept of RSVPing. Seriously, please sit down with your parents and explain that they need to RSVP to weddings.

What is RSVP
RSVP is short for Respondez, s’il vous plait. In English, RSVP means “Please Respond/Reply.” Hence, when you receive an invitation, the proper etiquette is to reply by either confirming or declining your attendance.

Why You Should RSVP
Allow me to be blunt.

  • It is rude not to notify the host of your attendance
  • Besides the fact that it is rude, each guest at a wedding has a cost associated with their seat. With the host paying $40-50/guest (on average), do you really think they would like to see an empty chair?
  • Another reason for you to RSVP is to save the host the headache of chasing each guest for a reply. With 300+ guests at any given desi wedding, can you imagine how time consuming it must be to call all the guests for a confirmation?
  • If you don’t care about any of the above reasons, then you should know that it is in your own best interest to RSVP. Many people have assigned seating… so you know what happens if you don’t RSVP, right? You’ll be sitting on what I call “The Naughty Table.” This table is for all the people who do not RSVP but show up at the wedding and expect to be accommodated.

No Shows
This category is the worst. There are always a handful of guests who say they are attending, but actually don’t show up. No, I am not talking about people who have genuine reasons for not coming. I am referring to the people who don’t show up because they “forgot,” or “something came up,” or they “ran late.” The reasons are endless. If you RSVP and don’t attend, your one seat is a loss of $40-50 to the host. Do the math – if 10 people are no shows, at $40/person, that is $400 wasted and the food that gets thrown out is an additional waste.

Hopefully, you understand the importance of RSVPing. The little section at the bottom of wedding invitations, that says “RSVP,” is not just there for decoration. Please encourage your parents, aunties and uncles to RSVP!

Via Google Images

Reminder: We would greatly appreciate if you can RSVP for our wedding by the deadline – May 25th (if you can let us know earlier, that is even better 🙂). For those of you who have RSVP’d – in person, over the phone or through email – THANK YOU! 🙂

p.s. I think I’ll be done emailing, mailing and handing out invitations by the end of this week. If all goes well, I’ll post pictures of my cards next week. YEAY!


About Shaza's Scrapbook

My name is Shaza and I'm a twenty something year old who's passionate about FOOD and Weddings! View all posts by Shaza's Scrapbook

2 responses to “Wedding Etiquette: RSVP to Avoid The Naughty Table

  • Yusra

    Hahahahah ! I like this post and I can only imagine how it’s important for you guys and how hard it seems to be !
    Well in my country ( Morocco ) we do not RSVP at all 😀 there is no such trend in here , we just send invitations ( we usually deliver them ourselves , no mailing or send by post ) , and ppl just respond inshAllah ! we make the tables according to an apporximate number and that’s it 😀 if they wana come welcome , if they dnt no problem hihihihih 😀 ( and we dnt cost by person , but by table so yeah 😀 )

    • Shaza's Scrapbook

      It makes more sense to pay per table – atleast it reduces the headache of chasing after guests to get confirmation :p I guess this is a more “Western” approach because my parents didn’t have to worry about guestlists and stuff as much either!

      ~ Shaza ~

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