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Tips and Tricks From A Desi Bride

There are lots of tips for non-desi brides out there but not alot for us South Asian brides. I know that many of you will be getting married in the weeks following Eid so here are some tips that will help.

  • Organized Packing: Packing up your life and moving to a new home can be overwhelming. I recommend packing sensibly to make your life easier for you. When I was packing, I made sure I packed in an organized way. If you have your belongings organized in suitcases, it will help you greatly. once you have moved. The basics:
    Overnight Bag: These are your essentials – toiletries, undergarments, nightsuits, makeup, 1 extra outfit, etc
    Honeymoon Bag: If you’re travelling soon after the wedding, it’s best if you have a separate suitcase with all your honeymoon things.
    Everyday Clothes: These suitcases will include clothes you might wear until the last day before your wedding. This also include Hijabs, purses/clutches and shoes
    Off Season: Since we got married in the summer, I put my winter clothes in one suitcase so I could store it away easily. This suitcase can also include other items that you might not need in your immediate future

Packing my life in suitcases.

  • Quiet Time: Having some quiet time the day(s) before your wedding is so important. A wedding house is ablaze with craziness and it’s easy to get caught up in that. To help calm your nerves, you should really enjoy some down time – do something you love or do nothing at all. I loved all the maddness that was going in our house but I am so thankful to the peace aswell. My mom made sure that my room was off-limits to any craziness so that could be my safe haven incase I needed it.
  • Check List: Make sure you have a checklist detailing everything that needs to be done on your days.
  • Reminders: Set reminders on your phone for the most important things. For example, Nouman set a reminder for my ring and I set one for his.
  • Picture List: Desi weddings have huge guestlists and everyone wants to take pictures with the bride and groom. At the end of a wedding there are always family shots that have been missed, relatives are offended that they weren’t asked to be in a picture or you have endless stories to share about some family hogging the stage. A pre-made picutre list, detailing the sequence of group shots, will limit all of that. This is the one thing I forgot to do! I did give my photographer a list of pictures I HAD to have but I think they forgot it on all 3 days. I wish they would have asked me because I had 3 additional copies at each event (minus the valima).

1/2 a page of a 4 page list for our photographer

  • Itinerary: Prior to your events, give each days itinerary to your  vendors. This will help them have an idea of when they’ll be most needed and where. It’s good to keep everyone in the loop!
  • Plan Ahead: I can’t stress this enough – if you plan ahead, you will not be stressed out in the weeks leading up to your wedding. Create a schedule for yourself if you need to – do whatever it takes to have things done early.

Boxes of chooriyan waiting to get sorted for mehendi favours. We were done these around 1 month before the wedding

Goodies assembled, in groups of 10, and ready to be put inside wedding favour boxes. These were also completed and set aside around a month before the wedding

  • Responsible Helpers: If you don’t have a wedding planner (I didn’t), appoint either 1 person or 2 people to be in charge. These are the go-to people for all your vendors and your guests. I have often seen that family/friends pull vendors in different directions: you have a nagging aunty wanting pictures of her all night, one uncle tells the caterer to serve dinner but another one asks it to be delayed – who the heck is your vendor supposed to listen to? Do yourself and your vendors a favour and have responsible go-to people. Nouman and I gave each vendor the names and contact information of my sisters and his brother – these were the only people they were allowed to listen to. We included this information on our itinerary.
  • Payments: In the mahem of wedding, you might forget to pay your vendors or might not pay them correctly. Therefore, set aside the balance due to each vendor in envelopes marked with their names
  • Beauty Regiments: Whatever beauty treatments you want to do, you should start atleast 3 months before the wedding. The 3 months leading up to your wedding should not include any new skin care or dietary routines – you want to avoid any reactions your skin/body might have. Ideally, starting 6 months prior to your wedding is the best idea. This includes skin care, hair, diet, contraception, waxing, etc.
  • Don’t Sit On Your Dupatta: Not sure why this piece of advice has always stuck in my head but I agree. Make sure you don’t sit on your dupatta or else you’ll be uncomfortably trying to squirm off it without drawing any attention to yourself.
  • Tape: Based on my own personal experience, make sure you keep double-sided or duct tape with you! Sounds weird, but incase something breaks or snaps, you’ll need it. Trust me. Wait for my Mehendi “Behind The Scenes” post to find out why!
  • Let Go: The best and hardest advice is learning to let go. Around a month before the wedding, I let go of everything. I knew that I had done everything I could and everything else was upto chance. Starting around 3 months before my wedding, I started telling myself that things will not go exactly as I planned but I must not let it get to me. You don’t want to be the bride that is tense and worried about how the event unfolds – it shows on your face and it doesn’t look good! Instead, accept that hiccups will happen so you can relax and enjoy the day(s)!

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About Shaza's Scrapbook

My name is Shaza and I'm a twenty something year old who's passionate about FOOD and Weddings! View all posts by Shaza's Scrapbook

4 responses to “Tips and Tricks From A Desi Bride

  • Mira

    Shaza, this list is great. Thank you! The picture list is definitely a good idea. I will be planning my sister’s wedding Insha’Allah and I think I’m more nervous about the prep than she is right now!

  • juliannayu

    Great Post Shaza! I’m sure it will come in handy for other Desi brides. I am not surprised at all by your lists. I love making lists myself and cannot imagine getting through anything without organization. Love your last point though. We have to learn to let go in the end. The pictures really capture all the organization you went through! Wowza!

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